Fool Control

Remember my 20 seconds of courage post?

well you should, because it was like the only post made for

the whole month of december. quite pathetic.

and i've recommitted myself to get back to blogging

mostly because its like a journal for me

and i've already skipped waaay too much

so i gotta kill that habit stat.

friends say they want to hear more [brittany's dating/boy stories]. so without bearing names or too much information, i will continue to do so. (:

There's this boy i'm kinda really, hugely crushin on that i'm kinda going after.

and when i say going after, i mean, i've made eye contact with him on a good day.

well, he makes quite some effort to talk to me [dreamy smile]

and i get nervous and train wreck each conversation...

now, it's no secret i can flirt up a storm with anyone BUT the boy who I'm crushin. And what a shame it is.

No, i'm not ready to post one of the many, many examples yet ...

well, maybe because God loves me, maybe because He feels bad for me, this boy keeps coming back. there he is, every sunday, every monday, every tuesday, and every thursday waiting to say hi to me. to have the same conversation with me...

over

and over

and over again

Love Of My Life: "Hey Brittany! How are you!?"

Me: "Hi. Good." (usually said as one word and before he finishes)

LOML: "Great! Anything new? How was your week?"

Me: "Nope, nothing new. It was good."

[THE  LONG PAUSE]

.....

The nodding of heads, and fading smiles....

LOML: "Well it was so good talking to you. Are you going to [such and such] activity?"

Me: Yup.

LOML: "Great! Well then I'll see ya then. Thanks for talking with me Brittany!"

Thanks for talking with me? Do you even consider that talking!?? More like, "Thanks for responding to me Brittany."

How can he be so nice and generous...ok so I may have exaggerated a bit, but not by much. It's bad. MJ bad. And homeboy keeps attempting these failed conversations with me time and time again.

Ok, I'll be a good sport and say we've had 2 or 3 flowing conversations, but nothing more!

So at this party i see him sitting alone(ish) and think, "its time."

...20 seconds of courage...

...20 seconds of courage...

...20 seconds of INSANE courage...

we make eye contact

he smiles

my blush starts burning

and as i am almost to the table

i hear,

"Hey, do I know you?"

Loooong 2 hour story short- i end up with a date with this boy. besides the fact that he's really cute and seems to have a great personality does it get worse?

oh yes.

it does.

"so" i say, "who do you know at this party?"

"well" he says, "him" and points to my burning hunk of love over there in the sidelines.

"no kidding, huh?" i say.

"yup, he's my best friend."

that's it. game over. best friends don't swap girls.

dooooomed.

and my date's today.